The Greatest Gift

When I think of a gift, I think of a beautifully wrapped present complete with a bow on top. I imagine the anticipation, the wondering what is in the box. I feel the excitement, and see the love in the eyes of the person, who is giving the gift. Typically, gifts are given in love, and selected with much thought and care.

I was recently asked to share how Jesus is the greatest gift in my life. There is no doubt in my mind that His greatest gift to me, aside from my salvation, is His faithfulness to me. When we think of God’s faithfulness, we tend to think of it in the form of His faithfulness in protecting us from harm, sending a word of encouragement at just the right moment, opening the door to a much needed job, or blessing us in some other unexpected way. However, God has shown me that His greatest gift of faithfulness to me is His faithfulness in stripping me of my self-sufficiency.

From the time I was a small child, a word that would be used to describe me could be independent. I wanted to be able to do things on my own. As I got older, my independence became about me proving myself. In the words of Brene Brown, “We either stand inside our stories and own them, or we stand outside our stories and hustle for our worthiness”.  For me, I never felt smart enough, funny enough, kind enough, or pretty enough. It all boiled down to the fact that I didn’t feel relevant enough.  I was constantly striving to prove that I had worth and that I was enough.

God, in His faithfulness, has put me in circumstances, where anything I brought to the table wasn’t enough. He has faithfully peeled back the layers of my self-sufficiency, so that I would fully lean into His sufficiency. For seven years, Jeremy and I wanted to have a child. During those years, I came to the place where I realized that all I could do was surrender my desire for a child to God. I didn’t have it within me to give life. It was completely out of my control. I wouldn’t trade those seven years of infertility for anything. While they were difficult and lonely at times, God developed within me a deeper faith in Him. He drew me closer to Him during those years, and walked beside me when no one else could. Seven years later, when I held a precious baby girl in my arms for the first time, I again saw God teaching me dependency on Him. The timing of Rylie’s birth was horrible from a human perspective. We had gone from two incomes to one income. I was in my final year of graduate school. I was trying to jump into a new career, while trying to figure out how to be a mom. Once again, I didn’t have what it would take to be successful on my own. I had to lean into my Savior and know that my sufficiency came from Him and not my own ability. In Him, I am more than enough.

I don’t know what your story is or what you struggle with but I do know that God loves you enough to send His son to die, so that you can have life. I know that if He can conquer death, then there isn’t really anything you or I face that is beyond His reach. In Him, you are more than the struggles or circumstances that you think define you. In Him, you are enough.

This Christmas, as you exchange gifts with the people you love, I hope that you will realize that God’s greatest gift to you might be the thing that is breaking your heart. It might be His faithfulness in breaking you, so that He can heal you and make you whole. Life can only be found in Him. Anything that we seek, apart from Him, will disappoint us, and leave us feeling empty.

He is the greatest gift you will ever be given. I pray that His faithfulness will surround you, and you will discover the joy that can only be found in Him.

“Who is like you, LORD God Almighty? You, Lord, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you.” Psalm 89:8