A Sweet Little Surprise

The day started out as any other.  I rolled out of bed and my feet quickly sought the warmth of my fuzzy slippers.  As I looked out the window to see snow swirling softly to the ground, I pulled my bathrobe a little more tightly around me as I stumbled toward the coffee pot.  What I didn’t realize was that my life was about to change. On this ordinary March morning, I would collide with God’s faithfulness as I discovered that after seven years of waiting and trusting, He had breathed new life into the child that now grew within my womb.  In the moment of discovery, I was rendered completely speechless.  I had always imagined that if this moment ever arrived an eloquent prayer of thanksgiving would flow freely from my lips.  However, as I sat with pregnancy test in hand, I thought how this shouldn’t be happening and I was amazed at how God in His sovereignty and grace had moved within the circumstances of my life to do what only He can do.  

Isaiah 30:18 says, “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!”  Often when God asks me to wait upon Him or to trust Him, it is easy for me to focus on the circumstances rather than His faithfulness.  It is easy to lose sight of the fact that He is eager and ready to pour out His blessings on my life but that in His wisdom He sees that there is more at stake than fulfilling the longings of my heart in that moment.  Had God blessed Jeremy and I with a child seven years ago, we would have missed seeing Him work in our lives in a unique way.  While I have shared parts of my struggle with infertility, I have not shared all of them.  I have not shared how, for years, my doctors have highly encouraged me to visit a fertility specialist due to my advancing age and a medical condition that was growing increasingly worse.  However, as I prayed about whether or not to pursue this avenue, God kept asking me to wait on Him.  It wasn’t always easy, especially when those around me questioned my decision.  While I personally do not see anything wrong with seeking the help of a fertility specialist, and while I believe that this is a journey God uses in some couples’ lives, for some reason He was asking me to wait.  I knew that to walk this road would be disobedience on my part and a fruitless endeavor.  Looking back, I am glad that I chose not to lean on my limited understanding but instead chose to trust in the One who had ordained all of my days.  He knew how small my faith was and that by asking me to wait He was developing within me a greater trust in Him.  I share this with you, because I hope that if there is some area of your life where God is asking you to simply trust Him, despite what circumstances say, you will choose to trust Him knowing that He is faithful and will rise on your behalf in due time.

God has been gracious to grant me the gift of a child and I know that countless prayers have been lifted on my behalf.  James 5: 16b says, “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective”.  For those of you who have prayed that God would bless us with a child, I want to thank you.  Words cannot express my gratitude for your willingness to stand by my side and pray on my behalf even when I did not ask.

To my Savior, I thank you for granting me grace when I deserved none.  I thank you for answering the desire of my heart, which was to know you more.  And while I often question your ways and constantly fight you, thank you that you are always drawing me closer to you, beckoning me to find fulfillment in the only thing that matters. To You belongs all glory, honor, and praise.

“The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” Psalm 126: 3