The Girl In The Mirror
One of my favorite Saturday morning rituals is to pour a cup of coffee, cuddle up on my sofa and flip through magazines. Last weekend I came across an article which intrigued me. The title of the article was "Like Yourself" Here's what it said, "Bad body day? Turn it around by posting a pic of yourself looking hot-rocking a great dress or showing off your strong legs in running shorts-on your Wall." It then went on to say, "On Facebook you can edit who you are to reflect your best moments and by crafting an ideal version of yourself online, you positively influence your self-perception."(Fitness Magazine, July/August 2011) At first glance, I found this article somewhat amusing, however the the more I thought about it the more frustrated I became. Do we really have to craft an "ideal" version of ourselves? An ideal defined by the world. Is it not ok to just be yourself anymore?
As far back as I can remember, I've struggled with understanding my worth. Countless times I've glanced in the mirror hoping the girl staring back at me would be beautiful, only to find the same green eyed girl as before. I know I'm not the only one who struggles with who they are. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons reported that Americans spent 10.7 billion dollars on cosmetic procedures in 2010. I started to break down some of the numbers for you, just because I found it so mind boggling, but that's not really the point of this blog. The point is to share a little about my own struggle with self-image and how God is beginning to speak truth in this area of my life. This isn't an easy struggle to share. I have to risk letting down my guard enough to give you a glimpse of my heart and believe me I would much rather keep my walls firmly in place.
Sweet. Cute. Quiet. Growing up, these are the words I most often heard to describe me. But cute is for puppies and sweet is for little girls. Who wants to be described as sweet, cute and quiet? I wanted to be sophisticated, smart, witty, vivacious and beautiful. I wanted to be the heroine in the movie who always knows how to handle a situation and looks good doing it. For years, I have struggled with who I am so I've worn a mask. I've kept people at arms length lest they discover who I really am. I've learned to smile at the appropriate times and say the right things. There are very few people who actually see me with my guard completely down. If someone compliments me, it makes me highly uncomfortable and I usually don't believe them. I think they are just being nice. I started noticing how I had carried this same mentality into my relationship with the Lord. I always felt like I was disappointing Him. I couldn't imagine Him being pleased with me much less calling me beautiful. I started praying that God would show me how He sees me and the value He has placed within me.
One morning, as I was doing my Bible study, I felt God reminding me that I was created in His image. Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." I sensed how in striving to be this perfect woman I was eclipsing the beauty of Christ within me. I was wanting to trade what was real for something that was fake. This brought up the question, then how does God define beauty? I flipped to a passage in my Bible that I knew spoke of beauty and I began to study it. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. " First, I want to clarify that God is not saying it's bad to wear nice clothes or want to look nice. Personally, I thoroughly enjoy prissing around in a new pair of heels or a new dress. I'm one of those girls who loves getting all dolled up in the morning. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to look nice. It just can't be what defines you. Our confidence or lack of confidence should not be coming from how good or bad we think we look.
When God reveals something new to me I have a really hard time containing myself. When I started digging into this passage, I couldn't sit still because I was so excited. Actually, I'm having a hard time sitting still right now. The only thing keeping me down is the fact that I have to sit in order to type. In the above verse, the phrase "of great worth" is the Greek word poluteles which means precious; requiring great outlay; very costly; excellent; of surpassing value. The word outlay means "an amount expended; to spend". This same word, poluteles, is also used in Mark 14:3 to describe the act of the woman breaking a very expensive jar of perfume and pouring it on Jesus' head. The jar of perfume was the woman's greatest treasure yet instead of keeping it for herself, she chose to give it to Jesus. In other words, an unfading beauty is going to come at a great price. It's going to come when we pour our lives out for the sake of Christ. When we trust Him enough to give Him everything we have without holding anything back. What I realized is beauty from God is something we pour out while beauty of the world is something we put on.
But how do we come to this place of total abandon? How do we come to a place where we trust God so completely. This is where the "gentle and quiet spirit" come in. Let me see if I can explain. Just because I've been described as quiet doesn't mean I had a quiet spirit. A quiet spirit is a heart completely at rest and trusting in God. It's a heart that isn't striving or manipulating to get its way. My heart was far from quiet because I was always striving to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. I hadn't learned to rest in who I was in Him. A quiet heart is a heart that comes before God, seeking Him and looking to Him to meet every need. It's not looking to other things or people to define you but it's looking in the eyes of your Creator and being defined by who you are in Him.
Now, let's look at what it means to be gentle. If I asked you to define gentle, you would probably describe it as being very docile, pleasant or soft spoken. These are all true but in Webster's Dictionary, the first definition given is "belonging to a family of high social station". I found this interesting because if you've accepted Christ as your Savior then you are a son or daughter of the King. I don't think our social station can get any higher than that. I guess to me God is saying "Remember who you are. You are a child of the King so stop feeling like you have to blend in or be something you aren't because you don't. I have set you apart for my purpose". God created each of us with an unique purpose and when we start trying to blend into the world we lose some of the beauty He has placed within us.
Recently, Jeremy and I watched the latest Chronicles of Narnia movie, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. There is a scene where Lucy whispers the words of a spell which say, "Transform my reflexion cast into perfection. Luscious lips and complexion. Make me she, whom I would agree, holds more beauty than me." Lucy is then transformed into her older sister Susan but in doing so, Lucy no longer exists. When she realizes she no longer exists, she becomes frightened and then she suddenly awakes from the spell. Aslan is there beside her and questions her actions. This is how the scene unfolds.
Aslan: "What have you done child?"
Lucy: "I don't know. That was awful."
Aslan: "But you chose it, Lucy."
Lucy: " I didn't mean to choose all of that. I just wanted to be beautiful like Susan."
Aslan: "You wished yourself away and with it much more. Your brothers and sisters wouldn't know Narnia without you. You discovered it first."
Lucy: "I'm so sorry."
Aslan: "You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are."
We have to stop doubting our value because within each of us the beauty of Christ already exists. When we stop striving and learn to rest in Him, is when this beauty will overflow onto everyone we come in contact with. We will be radiant because His beauty will be reflecting out of us. And unlike the beauty of the world, this beauty won't fade with time. It will only become more brilliant as we walk with God and become more like Him. It will be a real beauty that beckons others to look to the source of our joy. Just know, this beauty isn't going to just happen. Much like the woman who poured her perfume on Jesus, we will have to willingly follow Him no matter the cost.
As far back as I can remember, I've struggled with understanding my worth. Countless times I've glanced in the mirror hoping the girl staring back at me would be beautiful, only to find the same green eyed girl as before. I know I'm not the only one who struggles with who they are. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons reported that Americans spent 10.7 billion dollars on cosmetic procedures in 2010. I started to break down some of the numbers for you, just because I found it so mind boggling, but that's not really the point of this blog. The point is to share a little about my own struggle with self-image and how God is beginning to speak truth in this area of my life. This isn't an easy struggle to share. I have to risk letting down my guard enough to give you a glimpse of my heart and believe me I would much rather keep my walls firmly in place.
Sweet. Cute. Quiet. Growing up, these are the words I most often heard to describe me. But cute is for puppies and sweet is for little girls. Who wants to be described as sweet, cute and quiet? I wanted to be sophisticated, smart, witty, vivacious and beautiful. I wanted to be the heroine in the movie who always knows how to handle a situation and looks good doing it. For years, I have struggled with who I am so I've worn a mask. I've kept people at arms length lest they discover who I really am. I've learned to smile at the appropriate times and say the right things. There are very few people who actually see me with my guard completely down. If someone compliments me, it makes me highly uncomfortable and I usually don't believe them. I think they are just being nice. I started noticing how I had carried this same mentality into my relationship with the Lord. I always felt like I was disappointing Him. I couldn't imagine Him being pleased with me much less calling me beautiful. I started praying that God would show me how He sees me and the value He has placed within me.
One morning, as I was doing my Bible study, I felt God reminding me that I was created in His image. Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." I sensed how in striving to be this perfect woman I was eclipsing the beauty of Christ within me. I was wanting to trade what was real for something that was fake. This brought up the question, then how does God define beauty? I flipped to a passage in my Bible that I knew spoke of beauty and I began to study it. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. " First, I want to clarify that God is not saying it's bad to wear nice clothes or want to look nice. Personally, I thoroughly enjoy prissing around in a new pair of heels or a new dress. I'm one of those girls who loves getting all dolled up in the morning. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to look nice. It just can't be what defines you. Our confidence or lack of confidence should not be coming from how good or bad we think we look.
When God reveals something new to me I have a really hard time containing myself. When I started digging into this passage, I couldn't sit still because I was so excited. Actually, I'm having a hard time sitting still right now. The only thing keeping me down is the fact that I have to sit in order to type. In the above verse, the phrase "of great worth" is the Greek word poluteles which means precious; requiring great outlay; very costly; excellent; of surpassing value. The word outlay means "an amount expended; to spend". This same word, poluteles, is also used in Mark 14:3 to describe the act of the woman breaking a very expensive jar of perfume and pouring it on Jesus' head. The jar of perfume was the woman's greatest treasure yet instead of keeping it for herself, she chose to give it to Jesus. In other words, an unfading beauty is going to come at a great price. It's going to come when we pour our lives out for the sake of Christ. When we trust Him enough to give Him everything we have without holding anything back. What I realized is beauty from God is something we pour out while beauty of the world is something we put on.
But how do we come to this place of total abandon? How do we come to a place where we trust God so completely. This is where the "gentle and quiet spirit" come in. Let me see if I can explain. Just because I've been described as quiet doesn't mean I had a quiet spirit. A quiet spirit is a heart completely at rest and trusting in God. It's a heart that isn't striving or manipulating to get its way. My heart was far from quiet because I was always striving to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. I hadn't learned to rest in who I was in Him. A quiet heart is a heart that comes before God, seeking Him and looking to Him to meet every need. It's not looking to other things or people to define you but it's looking in the eyes of your Creator and being defined by who you are in Him.
Now, let's look at what it means to be gentle. If I asked you to define gentle, you would probably describe it as being very docile, pleasant or soft spoken. These are all true but in Webster's Dictionary, the first definition given is "belonging to a family of high social station". I found this interesting because if you've accepted Christ as your Savior then you are a son or daughter of the King. I don't think our social station can get any higher than that. I guess to me God is saying "Remember who you are. You are a child of the King so stop feeling like you have to blend in or be something you aren't because you don't. I have set you apart for my purpose". God created each of us with an unique purpose and when we start trying to blend into the world we lose some of the beauty He has placed within us.
Recently, Jeremy and I watched the latest Chronicles of Narnia movie, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. There is a scene where Lucy whispers the words of a spell which say, "Transform my reflexion cast into perfection. Luscious lips and complexion. Make me she, whom I would agree, holds more beauty than me." Lucy is then transformed into her older sister Susan but in doing so, Lucy no longer exists. When she realizes she no longer exists, she becomes frightened and then she suddenly awakes from the spell. Aslan is there beside her and questions her actions. This is how the scene unfolds.
Aslan: "What have you done child?"
Lucy: "I don't know. That was awful."
Aslan: "But you chose it, Lucy."
Lucy: " I didn't mean to choose all of that. I just wanted to be beautiful like Susan."
Aslan: "You wished yourself away and with it much more. Your brothers and sisters wouldn't know Narnia without you. You discovered it first."
Lucy: "I'm so sorry."
Aslan: "You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are."
We have to stop doubting our value because within each of us the beauty of Christ already exists. When we stop striving and learn to rest in Him, is when this beauty will overflow onto everyone we come in contact with. We will be radiant because His beauty will be reflecting out of us. And unlike the beauty of the world, this beauty won't fade with time. It will only become more brilliant as we walk with God and become more like Him. It will be a real beauty that beckons others to look to the source of our joy. Just know, this beauty isn't going to just happen. Much like the woman who poured her perfume on Jesus, we will have to willingly follow Him no matter the cost.
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