Great Expectations
Sometimes it's best to start at the beginning, so, I guess I should rewind to late spring of 1999. I knew this would be a day like no other. I can still smell the faint scent of freshly cut hydrangeas, hear the sound of laughter and hurried preparations, and feel the brush of satin as I finally stepped into my wedding gown. Some would say that, being the mere age of 20, I was too young, but I knew otherwise. In my mind and heart there was no doubt I had found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The one who could see past my carefully constructed walls to that which was tucked away in the recesses of my heart. A man who loved me despite the times I pushed him away. A man who sought God and was steadfast in his faith. What I didn't know was how easily my expectations could have destroyed our marriage, if it hadn't been for the grace of God.
I began this post after much procrastination. I kept getting a sense that God wanted me to write on the subject of marriage but I felt there were others who could discuss this topic far better than I. It was kind of funny that one day while talking to my Mom she asked if she had missed a blog. I told her she hadn't because I was pulling a "Moses". I knew what God wanted me to write about but I was trying to tell Him that I wasn't the one to deliver the message. Thankfully, God is both patient and persistent. He kept pressing His message upon my heart until I couldn't help but write.
Marriage in our society is under attack. I believe Satan knows that if he can destroy the relationship that is most representative of the relationship between Christ and His people, then he can undermine every other aspect of our lives. I see it everywhere around me and it breaks my heart. It's time to realize your spouse is not the enemy. Marriage is hard and it doesn't help when we expect our spouse to be someone other than the person God has called them to be. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson the hard way. I entered marriage with high expectations of both Jeremy and our marriage. My expectations were based on how I had seen marriage modeled, my own silly daydreams, and what I was told by society regarding marriage. However, none of these were what I should have been basing my expectations on. I won't soon forget the day the Lord called me out because of my unrealistic expectations of Jeremy. We had been married about 5 years and I was so frustrated with him. I can't remember why now but obviously he wasn't doing what I wanted him to do. I was out walking, trying to blow off some steam and praying. Well, I was asking the Lord to change Jeremy and make him more___________. Anyway, mid-prayer, God just stopped me and asked one question, "Kristen, do you want me to make Jeremy into the man you want him to be or would you like me to make him into the man I want him to be?". Ouch. Yeah, I was being way too big for my pants and thankfully God loved me enough to call me out. I mean, did I really think I knew better than God who Jeremy was intended to be. That simple question changed me. I had somehow forgotten that God knew exactly the type of spouse I needed and that I needed to entrust Jeremy to Him. He knew the plans He had for Jeremy's life and the plans He had for mine and how they would be intertwined. I needed to let go of my expectations of Jeremy and begin to pray that he would become the man God wanted him to be and I would become the woman He wanted me to be. In doing so, our lives will bring God the ultimate glory. Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband". In trying to change Jeremy, I wasn't respecting the man God created him to be and that was disobedience on my part. Are you allowing your spouse to be the person God has created them to be or are you trying to change them into who you want them to be? Don't let your expectations be the foothold Satan needs to destroy the marriage God has given you. Men love your wives as Christ loves you. Women respect your husbands as you would Christ. Let go of what this world says and stop expecting your spouse to fill you as only Christ can. He alone can fill the broken places. He alone is worthy to hold your heart and affections. If we could just get that through our heads, He is worthy! He is just so worthy...of my heart, my soul, my life.
If I could get you to remember one thing in writing these blogs, it would be that it will always comes back to Him. He is the Beginning and the End. The Alpha and the Omega. If your life isn't built on Him, it will crumble beneath you. Yet, how often do I carry my expectations into my relationship with Him. How often do I think that just because I follow Him I shouldn't walk through hard times. How prone I am to believe He will react as I would. I forget who He is. He is the Living God. He is the Creator of heaven and earth. He is the Holy One. Yet, He stoops down to lift us up. Psalm 18:35 says, "You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great." He also rejoices over us. In Isaiah 62:5 we are told, "...as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." Be reminded of that today. God rejoices over you. It doesn't matter where you've been or what you've done. He rejoices over you and loves you simply because you are His child.
Tears stream down my face as I write...this is about more than my marriage to Jeremy and how I've let expectations creep into our relationship. This is also about my marriage to Christ and how I've let expectations keep me from realizing who I am in Him. I am the radiant, beloved bride of Christ and so are you if you've accepted Him as your Savior. Isaiah 54:5 says, "for your Creator will be your husband. The Lord Almighty is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth." It's time to stop listening to the lies of this world and realize who you are in Christ. You are redeemed and you were purchased at a price. Revelation 1:5 says that God "loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood". He loved you enough to lay down His life for you and He wants you to walk in the freedom of that love.
I smile as I think back to my wedding day. It's a day that will forever be etched in my memory. However, a much more significant day will come when I will stand before the throne of God clothed not in satin but His righteousness and grace. I will look into the face of my Redeemer and hear Him call me His beloved. I am His and so are you. Let's live today as if tomorrow we will stand in His presence as His radiant bride.
"Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready." Revelation 19: 6-7
I began this post after much procrastination. I kept getting a sense that God wanted me to write on the subject of marriage but I felt there were others who could discuss this topic far better than I. It was kind of funny that one day while talking to my Mom she asked if she had missed a blog. I told her she hadn't because I was pulling a "Moses". I knew what God wanted me to write about but I was trying to tell Him that I wasn't the one to deliver the message. Thankfully, God is both patient and persistent. He kept pressing His message upon my heart until I couldn't help but write.
Marriage in our society is under attack. I believe Satan knows that if he can destroy the relationship that is most representative of the relationship between Christ and His people, then he can undermine every other aspect of our lives. I see it everywhere around me and it breaks my heart. It's time to realize your spouse is not the enemy. Marriage is hard and it doesn't help when we expect our spouse to be someone other than the person God has called them to be. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson the hard way. I entered marriage with high expectations of both Jeremy and our marriage. My expectations were based on how I had seen marriage modeled, my own silly daydreams, and what I was told by society regarding marriage. However, none of these were what I should have been basing my expectations on. I won't soon forget the day the Lord called me out because of my unrealistic expectations of Jeremy. We had been married about 5 years and I was so frustrated with him. I can't remember why now but obviously he wasn't doing what I wanted him to do. I was out walking, trying to blow off some steam and praying. Well, I was asking the Lord to change Jeremy and make him more___________. Anyway, mid-prayer, God just stopped me and asked one question, "Kristen, do you want me to make Jeremy into the man you want him to be or would you like me to make him into the man I want him to be?". Ouch. Yeah, I was being way too big for my pants and thankfully God loved me enough to call me out. I mean, did I really think I knew better than God who Jeremy was intended to be. That simple question changed me. I had somehow forgotten that God knew exactly the type of spouse I needed and that I needed to entrust Jeremy to Him. He knew the plans He had for Jeremy's life and the plans He had for mine and how they would be intertwined. I needed to let go of my expectations of Jeremy and begin to pray that he would become the man God wanted him to be and I would become the woman He wanted me to be. In doing so, our lives will bring God the ultimate glory. Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband". In trying to change Jeremy, I wasn't respecting the man God created him to be and that was disobedience on my part. Are you allowing your spouse to be the person God has created them to be or are you trying to change them into who you want them to be? Don't let your expectations be the foothold Satan needs to destroy the marriage God has given you. Men love your wives as Christ loves you. Women respect your husbands as you would Christ. Let go of what this world says and stop expecting your spouse to fill you as only Christ can. He alone can fill the broken places. He alone is worthy to hold your heart and affections. If we could just get that through our heads, He is worthy! He is just so worthy...of my heart, my soul, my life.
If I could get you to remember one thing in writing these blogs, it would be that it will always comes back to Him. He is the Beginning and the End. The Alpha and the Omega. If your life isn't built on Him, it will crumble beneath you. Yet, how often do I carry my expectations into my relationship with Him. How often do I think that just because I follow Him I shouldn't walk through hard times. How prone I am to believe He will react as I would. I forget who He is. He is the Living God. He is the Creator of heaven and earth. He is the Holy One. Yet, He stoops down to lift us up. Psalm 18:35 says, "You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great." He also rejoices over us. In Isaiah 62:5 we are told, "...as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." Be reminded of that today. God rejoices over you. It doesn't matter where you've been or what you've done. He rejoices over you and loves you simply because you are His child.
Tears stream down my face as I write...this is about more than my marriage to Jeremy and how I've let expectations creep into our relationship. This is also about my marriage to Christ and how I've let expectations keep me from realizing who I am in Him. I am the radiant, beloved bride of Christ and so are you if you've accepted Him as your Savior. Isaiah 54:5 says, "for your Creator will be your husband. The Lord Almighty is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth." It's time to stop listening to the lies of this world and realize who you are in Christ. You are redeemed and you were purchased at a price. Revelation 1:5 says that God "loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood". He loved you enough to lay down His life for you and He wants you to walk in the freedom of that love.
I smile as I think back to my wedding day. It's a day that will forever be etched in my memory. However, a much more significant day will come when I will stand before the throne of God clothed not in satin but His righteousness and grace. I will look into the face of my Redeemer and hear Him call me His beloved. I am His and so are you. Let's live today as if tomorrow we will stand in His presence as His radiant bride.
"Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready." Revelation 19: 6-7
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